Love, ugh!

Ok, so I am well aware of the fact that it's been awhile...alright, it's been a long damn time!  But I'm back =)  So I just recently started talking to this guy, and by recent I mean yesterday.  Don't get me wrong, he's cute and sweet and funny and....basically every girl's dream guy.  Every girl except me, of course.  Explain to me why super sweet comments meant to just melt my heart unfailingly cause a gag reflex that leaves me revolted.  I know, weird right?  I just think it's kind of lame, and uneventful when a guy only ever says nice things or makes sure you get along without a hitch.  You can have a great makeup without the breakdown (and makeups are where all the fizzle is, ;) )  Where's the guy that's going to get my blood boiling?  Where's the man who has an individualistic approach to things?  Who I can argue with and match my wits against?  Where is my dream guy?  I'll be honest: I'm a bitch, especially when it comes to relationships.  I'm damaged, and not the "oh I can fix her" kind of damaged.  To paint a picture, it's like when you go to the grocery store to buy your favorite bag of chips, only to get them home and realize the bag's been opened.  You innocently think "it'll be fine" because you really want those chips!  But after pulling a couple out you horrifically realize that your favorite chips are gnat-infested, moldy wastes!  I am those moldy chips from the store: unfixable.  And, honestly (yes, more of it), I'm perfectly fine with that.  But I need that guy that is just as emotionally, traumatically, irreversibly damaged as I am...because we'll understand each other.  Nice guys will just never understand that sometimes I need you to be mean.  Sometimes I need things to go wrong.  Sometimes I need to feel challenged, because if not, it isn't real for me.  And it very quickly becomes a waste of my time and, yes, pointless.  And if I'm sure of anything, it's that pointless things are to be avoided.  So, that being said...this moldy chip is wondering how long Mr. Sweetheart is going to make it into the bag before he realizes what he bought.  I'll keep you posted!